How to Stop Being A Victim by Using the Power of Words
© 2011 Michele Toomey, PhD

  1. Victims believe they are powerless. They want to be protected by another, but not by themselves. That is a mistake. If they will use their words as tools not as weapons, they can use the power of words to protect themselves.
  2. When victims feel intimidated they need to speak up and say such things as:
    • "Stop (whatever the intimidator is doing). It (upsets, scares, hurts, angers) me."
    • "Don't speak to me in that tone. It is harsh and feels abusive."
    • "Stop interfering in my life. I only want to live here in peace. I will not bother you, so please do not bother me."
  3. If the behavior doesn't stop, then you need to ask Jane to facilitate a confrontation with the intimidator to resolve the issue and stop the behavior. First you need to try to stop it yourself. Ask for help only after you have spoken up for yourself and have not been able to resolve it. Then you are not a victim, you just need help dealing with a bully.
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