| Violating Anger |
Liberating Anger |
| Has a twist |
Is straight |
| Manipulates the truth |
Seeks the relief of honest self-expression |
| Has a hidden agenda |
Wants to discover the truth |
| Attacks to hurt |
Expresses the hurt and anger |
| Blames and proves "guilt" |
Confronts |
| Is a weapon |
Is a tool |
| Seeks to discredit the other as a person |
Seeks to expose |
| Has no accountability |
Demands accountability |
| Hides behind innocence |
Chooses not to hide |
| Is righteously superior |
Is adamant |
| Assumes another's motives |
Never assumes motives |
| Needs a villain |
Rejects villains |
| Refuses to claim anything |
Claims its part |
| Seeks to punish |
Determines consequences for itself |
| Uses information to make a case against the other |
Uses information for clarity/understanding |
| Fears exposure |
Values exposure |
| Leads to abuse |
Leads to intimacy |
| Alienates and violates |
Liberates |
Because anger has such force and potential for violence, it needs to be treated with great discipline and respect. Uncontrolled anger is dangerous and we recognize that even if we don't know how to control it. Unaddressed and unexpressed anger is also dangerous, and we tend not to realize that.
