• Introduction
• The Agony of Your Reactions to Anti-Seizure Medications and the Terror of Feeling Like You're Disintegrating
• Appreciating What We Have
• Escaping the Onus of Unworthiness
• On the Border
• Where to Put the Anger and the Pain?
• Reconciling the Paradox of Personal Struggle and Other's Struggle: When Choice is Lost

New Musings

• Keep on Keeping On
• The Dilemma of Keeping A Spiritual Connection When Bodily Issues Clamor for Attention
• In Sharp Contrast

• Strategies for Dealing with the Disorientation of Feeling Disconnected from Yourself
• Journaling
• And Once Again We Must "Deal with It"
• A Dramatic/Traumatic Turning Point
• Courage, Perseverance and Change
• Transition
• What Does Integrity Look Like Five Years Later?

• The Paradox of Gift and Curse
• The Struggle to Reconcile a Loud Body with a Sense of Well Being
• The Gift and Burden of Post-encephalitis
• The Intense Struggle to Find a Sense of Well Being
• The Changing Face of Reality
• Intimacy with Hard
• The Paradox of Feeling Energized and Capable
• The Joy of Reaping from Hard Work
• The Paradox of Intimacy with/in Self-Reflection
• Reconciling Sadness and Loss with Gratitude and Gain

Memory Loss

• The Isolation of Brain Damage
• Sustaining a Strong Self-Image in the Face of Memory Loss
• In Stark Contrast: Learning to Value Being and Knowing Not Just of Doing and Proving
• Re-Defining and Re-Claiming "Feeling Like A Jerk"
• The Relentlessness of Brain Injury and Memory Loss
• Memory Loss and Credibility
• The Fatigue of Continuing to Need to Rediscover
• The Awesome Magnitude of Knowing
• May Day and Memory Loss

Practical Strategies

• You're Not A Project
• The Guidelines for Living Out of the Musings
• Home Containment
• Confronting the Runaway Energy That's Triggered When You Anticipate or Do Tasks
• The Paradoxical Dilemma of Sleep
• Reflections on Being Awakened at Night and not Being Able to Get Back to Sleep
• Vehicles for Creating A Team with the Anxious One's Energy

Relief and Discouragement

• The Tiring Need for Re-Learning and Repetition
• The Marathon of "Keep on Keeping On"
• The Relief of Feeling Alert and Renewed
• The Inner Joy of Journeying Well
• Dealing with Discouragement

Pacing, Rhythm, and Timing

• Pacing and Rhythm
• The Process of Lining Things Up
• The Dilemma of Timing
• Containing Runaway Energy
• The Dilemma of Trying Too Hard
• Reconciling Sadness and Loss with Gratitude and Gain

Yielding to Brain Damage

• Yielding's Gift
• The Complexity of Yielding to the Brain Damage
• Dealing with the Powerlessness of Having a Damaged Brain
• Reaping From What We Sow
• The Toll of Never Being "Cured"
• The Price of Brain Damage Revisited
• Daring to go to Yale-New Haven Hospital for Observation and Monitoring
• The Freedom of Dealing With It
• Dealing with Harsh Reality
• The Capacity to Savor and Embrace
• Daring to Maximize Our Potential

Integrity, Intimacy, and Inspiration

• A Closer Look at Integrity
• The Depth of Being That Intimacy with Integrity Brings
• The Gift of Integrity
• Integrity of Discouragement and Despair
• The Role of Inspiration in the Healing/Recovery Process
• The Christmas of the Millennium
• Reflecting on the Millennium New Year
• Mother and Daughter: The Added Complication of Brain Damage
• Proclaim It to the World
• Capturing the Essence of Meditation and Inspiration
• Circling Back on the Gift of the Paradox