And Once Again We Must "Deal with It"

© 2002 Michele Toomey, PhD


July 18, 2002

Just as we think you are stable on the phenobarbital and not at risk of seizures, you are having memory eclipses again, which are mini-seizures in and of themselves. Driving becomes a risk so we decide you shouldn't drive at this time. I call Susan Spencer and alert her and she says to have your blood level taken for the pheno. Your body is so wired you are taking two baths during the night and sometimes during the day. Yes, we have geared up and once again we are "dealing with it" but it knocks us all down. We are discouraged and worried. We are angry and sad. We hate it as we deal with it. We want the cycle to stop.

The relentlessness of this "healing period" is enough to weary anyone. It wears you down and wears us down. We hate it. We endure it. We "deal with it." There is nothing else to do but deal with it. And we do. I guess the only relief is our steadfastness. We must look at ourselves and at each other as we stay the course and deal with whatever comes. We are a stalwart group of women, courageous, loving and kind. We are to be admired. You especially are to be commended for hanging in there day after day after day. I am sorry it's so relentless and so hard. I am sorry for you and I am sorry for us. I guess our only solace is in our mutual sharing and caring. We are truly in this together. We must embrace and be there with each other as we trudge wearily on, together "Dealing with it."

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