The Paradox of Feeling Energized and Capable

© 2000 Michele Toomey, PhD


August 7, 2000

One would, at first glance, conclude that the excitement of feeling energized and capable would bring nothing but sheer gift. However, as in everything, there is a cost that comes with gift. In this instance, the cost of discipline and commitment to boundaries at the very time you're finally feeling lighter, freer, and able. The natural response is to break free and not want any confinement or restriction. Most understandable, but, as is the case with all of us, not a reasonable position. Boundaries inhibit but they also preserve the integrity of the complexity of our system.

Your over-extension on one day when you are thrilled with your energy and capacity to do things, cost you a severe memory loss the next day. A loud way to gather data, but if we listen, an effective way. Containment is complex. Too contained is too tight and inhibiting. Too extended is too loose and jeopardizing. So, the key, is partnering with the energy and the excitement it brings, and making the drawing of lines and boundaries a joint, creative effort. Then everyone is part of the project and everyone shares in the collaboration that brings the focus back to the relationship with yourself, which is the primary focus anyway. Then the "draw" and "pull" of accomplishing one more thing is balanced by the draw to be intimate with yourself. Tasks are not meant to be your goal, even as tasks are essential to a functioning life. Nonetheless, tasks are the outgrowth of the good relationship we have with our collective selves, not the driving force that we chase after. So, it's back to good psychology, and a confrontation with runaway energy. Both will benefit from the partnership. Nothing will be less, really, it will be better.

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