Confronting the Runaway Energy That's Triggered When You Anticipate or Do Tasks

© 2000 Michele Toomey, PhD


June 7, 2000

Never begin a task before you have taken the time to get grounded. Never leave your anxiety alone during any thought or act that will, by its very existence, trigger anxiety. In fact, more to the point, NEVER LEAVE YOUR ANXIETY ALONE, PERIOD. It must always be accompanied by a caring, reflective, grounded adult. It's like an out of control child. Wants to get away with everything. Wants no limits. Wants to hide so it won't get scolded or told no. If you accompany it at all times it will learn to behave with integrity and become a welcome, very welcome member of your team because it is such a source of energy.

Steps to be taken to contain and maximize anxious energy.

  1. Never let it be the one in charge. It isn't capable of leading without being out of control. That's just the nature of anxious energy.
  2. The grounded reflective woman of integrity MUST take charge, take the lead and take the position on what and how to proceed.
  3. She must have a reasonable goal, for the activity, set limits, set the tone, set the pace, monitor the process, re-set, and re-direct when called for.
  4. She must stop when she recognizes a limit is being violated. She must be a great leader and a strong advocate for pacing, rhythm, tone, respect.

Mistakenly, you have allowed the anxious one to have all the energy, and the reflective one is protected by only taking the lead for relaxation. Then, both forces are indulged separately, so they don't have the hassle of dealing with each other and don't run the risk of ruining their fun and interfering with their plans. Self indulgence is always tricky because we need it, but it, by its very nature, wants no limit. You cannot afford any lack of integrity, especially in self indulgence. So, you can't sit, and sit and relax, until you've taken care of business with the anxious one.

Then they must learn to sit together, just as they must learn to work together. No solo flights allowed. Too risky. It's a team and we welcome the anxious energized one aboard. And we insist that she come aboard before you proceed.

Your self reflective one will make a great leader. Your anxious one is lucky. She will provide great energy. Your reflective one is lucky to have her as a resource, even if she is a little wily at times. She means well and she loves life.

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