It sounds so simple. Live out of integrity, out of honesty. Yet, there is nothing simple about it. Integrity is complexity at its very essence. It demands ongoing attentiveness to the many levels of awareness and reactions that are occurring within us with every breath. To live out of integrity requires continual motion and processing. We are to participate in a perpetual circling around the infinity sign intersecting at our core. With integrity as our guide we pass through time and dimensions of body and spirit, thoughts and feelings that take us on a journey without a destination, only the discovering of where we've been, where we are, and how we got there.
Ha! That's the key to the mystery of integrity. We are on a journey that has no destination except self-discovery and no map except the integrity of the search. The universe within where the journey takes place seems infinite, but fortunately is actually limited by the length of our life and the breadth of our experiences. Unfortunately, it can also be limited by us and our lack of integrity and our inability to use our imagination to search through time and memory.
Associations are also key. Only by making associations and harnessing our imagination are we able to discover anything but the most superficial of information. Only by allowing associations guided by integrity to surface are we able to plumb our own depths and discover where we've been and where we are and how we got there.
Five years later you cannot apologize for having a memory eclipse at Betsy's birthday party and have any integrity. Initially you could, but then you need to travel the infinity sign and discover why the memory eclipse triggered an apologetic reaction. The sharing of where you'd been with the party and your role in it as the "mother." the desire for it to be happy and free of worry or concern, the reminder that you were not the same Marlene of old...Any of these reflections would have placed you firmly at your core. This placement in turn, would ground you and help you with the fear and disorientation that memory eclipses bring.
The conversation would become intimate and open about the place it took everyone and how each got there. Rather than being left disconnected in your apology, you would be connected in your integrity. Demanding and relentless in its demands, integrity then provides a re-energizing and a warmth that reaffirms and recharges and the movement continues. No wonder we need to sleep to rest. It's not just physical fatigue we experience if we live out of integrity.
So what does integrity look like 5 years later? Like a vehicle for travelling connected to our core. Expensive but oh, so worth it. Sterling qualities radiate from integrity, and sterling intimacy results. Nothing is more costly than integrity and nothing is more precious. So what does integrity look like? It looks like the real you.