You're Not A Project

© 2001 Michele Toomey, PhD


January 9, 2001

There's yoga for the body and the breathing, there's Tai Chi to center the energy and bring about a rhythmic flow, there's somatic exercises for breathing and retraining of the muscles, there's the inhaler for the lungs, there's the ball to exercise the fingers, there's the daily walks for exercise and heart, there's baths for relaxation and calming, there's music for rhythm and focus, there's TV for resting the mind and entertaining the spirit, there's therapy for orienting and grounding, there's water and tea for soothing the throat and the nerves, there's the Alpha for journalling...the list is creatively endless. No wonder you get caught in "solving yourself" at times.

As always, we are left to confront the paradox. This time, the paradox of creative activities to maximize the disabled body and mind, needing to be reconciled with its counterpart, accepting the status of what is and being at one with it. For this reconciliation to occur, the orientation of each activity must be one of bonded connection of body and spirit as they participate together in them. The focus must be on oneness, on being together to experience the connection during the activity. It cannot be one dimension "doing" and the other dimension "ordering it done", so that after something good will be the outcome.

Outcome" is the act, the "being" with the "doing". To avoid becoming a problem to be solved and a project to be accomplished, the paradox of being and doing must be reconciled. The intimacy and oneness must be the "end in itself" and it must occur at the moment the "doing" takes place. No anticipated outcome, only the immediate experience at the moment. The time is now. The present must become your dominant relationship with time and with yourself. To be present is to "be" and "do" simultaneously. No distraction, no wandering off, no future focus...only the experience of the will have a better chance of being remembered because it will be intimately known as it is being experienced.

You are not a project. You are a person. You are not to be solved, cured or fixed. You are to be known. To be one with who you are, where you are, as you are, is to be intimate with yourself, body and mind, thoughts and feelings. This is the goal. This is your right. This is your opportunity. Do not squander it on task, burden or responsibility. Receive it as you give it to yourself. You are not to be "done to", you are the "doer". Benefit from all you do by being present with the doer, and by being " with" her, you are her. Now that's reconciliation at its best.

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